Dating after a breakup can be more than a little bit intimidating. No matter how much experience you had with the dating game before your long-term relationship you’ve been out of the swing of things for a little while and need to take things slowly in order to get your rhythm back. While you’re taking a walk on the single side keep these things in mind when planning your next date.
Keep these four reasons in mind for taking things slow and your next few dates should be a huge success.
1) Rebuilding confidence takes a little time. When your long-term relationship ended your confidence probably took a hit. It’s not easy admitting that you couldn’t make it work (even if you were the one to call things off) to yourself or anyone else. By taking things slow you’re giving yourself the opportunity to regain your footing and your confidence one date at a time rather than going all in to find out your in very deep water with no sign of the shore.
2) Love doesn’t happen instantly (at least not very often). There are some who might make a good argument for love at first sight. The rest of us have discovered that love takes a little time to build and sort out. If you rush into love you might find out quickly that it is purely chemical instead. Chemistry can be great but not when you’re in a vulnerable state. Unfortunately for you the first few dates after a breakup are you in a vulnerable state.
3) Avoid the rebound roller coaster. Rebound relationships can suck all the joy out of your future dating prospects. No one wants to be in a rebound relationship and yet so many people find they are almost helpless to avoid them. We want to recapture that intimacy- emotional and physical- that was lost when the relationship ended and we dive in too far too fast into the next relationship. It’s a recipe for heartbreak and might prolong your ride on the road to recovery.
4) Your heart may not be in rhythm with your brain. While your head may be convinced that you need to get out there and start dating again your heart may not be ready to take the plunge. Don’t push your heart into something you are really not ready for. It takes time to heal from the loss of a long-term lover and friend. If they were replaced that easily we wouldn’t appreciate them nearly as much.