After you have gotten a divorce, you may find that you are dealing with emotions and frustrations that you may not be able to handle. For some people, this leads them to seek counseling so that they can better handle those emotions and frustrations. Some adults may not realize that their children are also having to handle these things and may not know how to do it in a healthy way. Here are some pros and cons of counseling for kids after a divorce.
Some parents feel as if taking their children to see a counselor will validate their fears about the divorce. Rather than making a huge deal out of the divorce, the parents try to keep as much normalcy as they can around their children. While they may show them extra love and attention, they would really rather not take them to counseling. However, this is a personal choice and depends on the parent’s personality and opinions.
Another thing parents may feel is a disadvantage is bringing a stranger into the situation – even if the stranger is a capable and wonderful counselor. They may feel as if this will only further confuse the children and would rather not do this on top of all the confusion they are dealing with from the divorce. Because children aren’t emotionally developed enough to deal with the confusion and pain of a divorce, any added frustrations aren’t desirable to many parents.
While some parents may feel as if counseling will add to their children’s problems, others feel as if it’s a healthy outlet for their children. A counselor can be a wonderful way for your children to release their stress and fears about the divorce and their family situation. Counseling provides your child with a comfortable, safe environment where they can talk about their feelings or release emotional frustrations. Even as the children’s parents, sometimes we cannot coax fears and feelings out of our children the way a trained counselor can – and because the counselor is removed from the situation, children may feel safer or more secure discussing it with them.
For older children, sometimes a counselor is necessary. Older children and teenagers can sometimes feel severe depression and even thought of suicide when their parents get divorced. Some of this may stem from the belief that they had something to do with the divorce. Of course, this is totally not true, but that doesn’t stop children from feeling that way. A trained counselor can help you determine whether your child has a legitimate problem with depression or something else. These are things that many parents haven’t noticed – no matter how close they are to their children.
Of course, there are disadvantages and advantages to counseling for children after a divorce – just like there is with anything else. However, learning about the pros and cons and reading the information in this article can help you determine whether or not your children should speak with a counselor during or after your divorce.